I lie awake in the dormitory, my eyes wide open. There’s no trace of tiredness. I toss and turn restlessly. Around me, I can hear steady breathing. Am I the only one who can’t sleep? Am I the only one wondering whether she’s up to the challenge ahead? The only one unsure whether she can make it up Mont Blanc and back down again? The bed creaks again as I roll onto my side and reach for my phone. A glance at the screen tells me it’s already 23:00. Breakfast is at 1:00. And here I lie. Eyes wide open, heart pounding.
Setting Off Into the Unknown
I could barely get anything down at breakfast. The nausea is still there as I put on my crampons. The mountain guide urges us to hurry. Several rope teams have already set off. In the blackness of the night, they’re visible only as little dancing lights in the distance. The three of us set off at a brisk pace. We soon catch up with the first climbers, and on the familiar flank of Mont Blanc du Tacul we catch up with more.
A Bottleneck at the Crux
After a short break on the ridge, we descend into the Col du Maudit before tackling the steeper climb up Mont Maudit. By now, we’re close behind five other rope teams. We zigzag our way through the fresh snow. I’m breathing heavily. It’s strenuous, but I’m still feeling good. The temperature is well below freezing. It only gets really cold when we’re forced to stop. Ahead of us lies the crux. A 55-degree ice slope forces the rope teams ahead to halt. We’re stuck in a queue. Moments later, the cold has taken hold of my body.
Freezing Air
A few minutes later, I unscrew my thermos, trembling. I warm my hands in the steam from the hot tea, try to keep my toes moving and bounce gently on my knees. There isn’t much room for my exercises. The mountain is to my left; to my right, it drops away steeply. We wait. I retreat into my own head, almost meditating. I prepare myself for the ice slope ahead. Ice keeps crumbling down on us from above. A piece the size of a tennis ball whizzes past my face. I turn around and gaze into the distance. The sky is slowly turning red. The sun will be up soon.
“Watch Out, Ice!”
With the first rays of sunlight, we climb the ice slope. Fixed ropes are anchored to the face. I concentrate as I kick my crampons into the ice. My toes are frozen stiff. So are my hands. My fingers tingle every time I swing my ice axe. Just don’t let go, I tell myself. Don’t let go. I focus on my grip on the ice axe and keep climbing. We can see the ridge. Finally! “Watch out, ice!” someone suddenly calls. Countless pieces come tumbling down. I press myself close to the face. A larger chunk of ice hits my hand. I barely feel the pain. I’ve lost all feeling in my hands.
The Goal in Sight!
I swing my arms in circles, trying to get blood back into my fingers as we walk along the ridge to Mont Maudit. Beyond it, Mont Blanc glows in the warming morning sun. We can see the summit. Almost there. Or so I thought. Step by step, we fight our way up the remaining 400 vertical meters, zigzagging through deep, fresh snow. We’re moving slowly. The summit barely seems to get any closer. I’m gasping for breath. There’s no air left in my lungs. I lower my gaze and watch my feet. I try to forget the distance and start singing a song in my head.
LTE Reception at the Summit
What feels like an eternity later, shortly after eight, we reach the highest point at 4.810 m. We’re making good time. We would have had to turn back by 9:00 at the latest. I’m gasping for breath. I hug my climbing partners. Then I pull out my phone. My cold fingertips touch the screen. So there I am, on the summit of Mont Blanc, with nothing better to do than make a phone call. I turn on the camera: “Hi Dad, I made it. I’m standing on the highest mountain in the Alps.”
Hard to Believe
He looks at me, visibly bewildered, barely able to believe I’m actually calling him. I feel much the same. I can hardly believe it either. Everything feels so far away. It’s only as we descend that it gradually sinks in: I really was up there. I actually did it. I proved to myself that I can do it. I swallow. I’m overjoyed. My emotions take over, eclipsing the exhaustion and carrying me through the first part of the descent. I did it. It’s the only thought going round in my head. I did it!