I’m afraid of heights. That’s why I’m usually extra careful when planning a hike. I don’t head into the mountains without proper preparation and the confidence that I can handle the trickiest sections. How I’m feeling on the day matters too. Depending on my state of mind, some passages feel easier than others. This time, my fear of heights caught me off guard. But there’s something to learn from that too …
The nerves kick in
I look up. I’m standing in front of the huge dam at Mooserboden reservoir. Mobo107 is the name of the via ferrata above Zell am See-Kaprun. The wall rises 107 metres into the air. I can’t see the top. It’s shrouded in mist. Is that reassuring, I wonder? Not quite. Instead, I feel a knot in my stomach and wipe my sweaty palms on my trousers. I’m uneasy. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Sometimes you have to face your fears, and the route isn’t supposed to be too technically challenging.
| Length: | 400 m |
| Elevation gain: | 107 m |
| Difficulty: | B/C |
We put on our via ferrata kits and helmets. Then I look down at my shoes. I wish I’d packed shoes with stiff soles, not the trainers I’m wearing right now. I won’t make that mistake again. Then I pull on my gloves, take a deep breath and announce that I’m ready.
The zipline
We start with a zipline. Okay, this isn’t so bad, I think. I clip the carabiner into the belay loop of my harness. Then I take a few steps back to get a running start. My momentum carries me over halfway across. For the rest, I have to grab the cable and pull myself along. But that’s no problem. I’m still enjoying this part of the via ferrata. Then things get serious.
The view? What view?
I stare in disbelief at the little footholds in the wall ahead of me. From farther away, only the big ladders and rungs were visible. These are more like tiny holds from an indoor climbing wall. And some of them are so far apart that I struggle to reach the next one. Again and again, I have to press the sole of my shoe firmly against the wall to bridge the gap between footholds. Sweat runs down my back. The veins in my head are throbbing. This is really testing me.
Of course, it doesn’t get any better higher up. I tell myself to stay calm. Like a mantra, I repeat that nothing can happen to me. It only helps so much. I’ve already worked myself up, and I’m finding it hard to keep going at all. But staying put isn’t a solution either. One particularly high step brings me close to despair. From here, the route continues almost straight up.
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The drama reaches its peak
The harder I try to concentrate and push my limits, the more tense I become. Then my emotions take a turn too. I’m quick to cry. In stressful situations, the floodgates open. And now is no exception. Tears roll down my cheeks. Angry with myself, I wipe them away. This is the last thing I need right now!
But neither stress nor anger makes me feel any better. Quite the opposite. The wall gets steeper and steeper. My patience is wearing thin. But the exit is in sight too. There’s just one wire-rope bridge left to cross. On shaky legs, I balance across the narrow wire. Luckily, it’s the last obstacle. Every movement is a struggle.
Solid ground, thank you!
Then I’ve done it. I can feel solid ground beneath my feet. Blades of grass bend aside. The damp earth gives a little. The feeling could hardly be better. For the first time, I really notice how much I’m shaking. And I realise how unsteady I am on my feet. I’m so relieved to be at the top. But I made it! I thrust an arm into the air in triumph. Yes! Here I stand. Completely shaken, but somehow a winner at the end of the day.
Should I have said “no”?
I’ve learned a few more things about myself. In the end, I made it up, but it wasn’t a pleasant victory. It was a stressful situation that overwhelmed me. Looking back, I should have listened to myself and trusted my gut beforehand. I should have paid attention to the fact that I wasn’t feeling particularly strong mentally that day anyway. I should have recognised that the weather made the whole thing look even more difficult. I should have listened to the feeling that I wasn’t fully prepared.
I probably should have just said “no” when we were standing in front of the wall. No, this isn’t for me today. No, I don’t feel up to it right now. This time I made it to the top. But next time I’ll know that I’m allowed to say “no” sooner, that I can say it, and that sometimes I even have to. So that’s the lesson I can take home with me. Maybe not the most glorious moment, but definitely an important lesson for future adventures …